Careful What You Wish For
by ebonyeyeliner
Summary: what if Christian had an arranged Fiance before he left for Montmartre---aaaah! its completed! i finished! wheeeew! ok, the end is really sad, sorry sorry if you hate it, you can scream at me if you like! any reviews are good!
1. I

**disclaimer** aaaaah! sorry sorry! i forgot to put this on here before, and just remembered at like 11:30 at night, bad bad bad emily! going to be sued and have sticks thrown at her, well, anyways  
  
i dont own much, i just own Willow and her family, thats all, sory sorry again!  
  
Careful What You Wish For  
  
It was early Saturday morning, and the young Willow Cohen was sleeping peacefully her red and blue draped room. Her parents had insisted that red and blue were not proper colors to cover a young lady's room in, they had wanted pinks, and laces. But Willow had refused, and they had finally relented when she had stated that she would "run of and join the circus!" if they did not comply. Not wanting to create a scene, her parents had let her decorate her room however she pleased. They were of an upperclass family, and did not want to be viewed badly from the other elite class. Having their daughter run off, would certainly create unwanted gossip.  
  
But all of this was far from Willow's mind at present, she was comfortable draped in a sleeping gown that would be considered to the proper young lady, "quite unbecoming and inappropriate!" but Willow did not care, it was comfortable, and when was she ever a conformist?  
  
At this moment, Willow was deeply in a dream. She was walking amongst a garden with her true love by her side, a gorgeous young man, with jet black hair and eyes the color of the sea. He had the gentlest touch and a voice that could bring tears to the eyes of even the coldest of hearts. "Willow! Willow wake up! It is nearly ten o'clock! This is unacceptable!" this was not the voice of her true love! This was when she realized she was dreaming, and she slowly opened her eyes to her mother's harsh gaze.  
  
"Good morning mother." she said cheerfully, she loved it when she dreamed of her true love. She knew he wasn't real, but he could be in her dreams, and when she did dream of him, it made her day a little brighter. Her mother, on the other hand, had a different expression on her face today than normal. "Its about time you woke up Willow! I nearly had to pour a bucket of water on your face! Now get up! We must get you extra presentable today! It is a big day!" Why mother? What is today?" Willow asked, noting her mother's expression towards her loose nightgown. "You're father has finally worked out the agreement that I thought impossible my dear!" her mother almost screamed with delight. "He has finally found you a husband! It is all arranged!"  
  
Willow's heart sank to the bottom of her feet at this. "What?" she squeaked. "Well, your father and I have been trying to find you a suitable husband for almost a year now! You must know you are getting to the marrying age my dear! But considering your, well, *ahem* different personality, it has been almost impossible, but finally, your father has prevailed and found you a wonderful husband! Now, to me, he seems a bit, well, odd, but his family is quite rich, so I'm sure it wont matter in the end..." Willow had tuned out her mother by now, and was shocked at how soon her day had gone from wonderful, to horrible.  
  
"Mother!" she gasped, "I cannot possibly marry someone I do not love, or, or even know!" "Oh my goodness...." her mother sighed, "Will you stop it with all this silly love talk Willow? You don't marry someone because you love them when you are in a social status as high as ours! I did not love your father when I married him, and look how well everything has turned out for us?"  
  
"No mother." stated Willow boldly, "I will not marry whoever he is! I do not care if it is not proper or not! I refuse!" With this, her mother lost her patience, "You most certainly will! You do not have a choice in the matter! This is not a matter of choosing room colors this time young lady! You cannot try to get out of this! There is nothing you can do about it! If you refuse, you can be forced into this, and if you still refuse, how do you think you will survive outside this house by yourself? Hmm? No one hires women to do any kind of work! You will live on the streets and become a whore! Now do you want that?"  
  
In the end, Willow knew she was right, she would never make it out int he world on her own, and her parents could make sure of that, they were powerful people. Therefore, the formerly happy Willow Cohen, became the most unhappy young woman she could think of, and reluctantly went about making herself "presentable" as her mother called it, dreading the hours ahead of her when she would have to meet her so called "fiance" 


	2. II

Willow peered out of the carriage window, did the day seem darker than usual, or was it just her? In the back of her mind, she registered her parents excitedly chatting about how prestigious of a family she would be marrying into, and how it was a little misfortunate that the "young man" she was marrying was, "just a little too eccentric" for their liking. But Willow could have cared less if he had one leg, and four eyes, just the thought of being forced to marry someone was bad enough. She wondered how someone could be so shallow as to just marry a girl without even knowing her. For all this boy could know, she would be a manic depressive with suicidal habits, and who knows, if she was forced into marriage, she might become one...  
  
She was brought back to reality with her mother's "Willow, Willow, fix your dress! We're here!" With that, Willow looked out of the window facing her mother. A huge mansion erupted from the ground and willow let out a small gasp. "Wonderful isn't it?" Cried her father. "Think of it, soon you will be living here! Think of all the money and parties and status dear!" "Maybe I do not care about all that father, have you ever thought about that?" Willow quietly remarked. Willow's father seemed quite confused at this, and asked her mother what in the world she was speaking about. Her mother just replied "oh, nonsense dear, she's just moody and confused, don't worry."  
  
As they walked up to the door, Willow felt a new shadow fall over her life, and she thought to herself "goodbye true love, I cannot dream of you anymore, it is time to face my reality."  
  
After they had been led into one of the main living rooms in the house, they were politely asked by the maid to wait for Mr. James, who her father explained to her as her "fiancé's" father. The word fiancé cut through willow like a knife and she only slipped farther into the plush chair she had been seated in.  
  
Suddenly, a fairly elderly man, with attire that must have been starched nine times walked into the room and cordially greeted her father. They had obviously been friends for some years, and Willow wondered how long it had taken her father to talk Mr. James into getting his son to marry her. She was already well known around all of her parents friends as "that strange child..." But then she remembered that her parents kept remarking about how strange Mr. James' son was, so it sort of fit into her mind. "Pair off the weird ones, " she though sullenly.  
  
After some small talk with her mother and father, Mr. James spoke directly to Willow, "Now miss, I would like to introduce you to my son, Christian." "Interesting name at least," Willow thought. After no one immediately walked through the door, Christians father stated "excuse me a second..." then bellowed "Christian!!!!!!! Get down here!!!" The loudness in his voice frightened Willow a bit, but she totally forgot about it, when she heard an angel's voice speaking "coming father..." The voice melted into her ears and made her heart skip a beat, no matter how hard she tried to push the sound away.  
  
After a few seconds, and a thundering of feet down a stair case, Willow met eyes with the most angelic site she had ever seen. It was the man from her dreams, her true love! Though upon closer inspection, he did not look so happy in true life, and she could tell why. She could see into his soul like she never thought possible, and by the look in his eyes, she could he tell he was being forced into marrying her also. And she didn't blame him, why would such a beautiful creature as himself want to marry her? She suddenly became extremely self conscious and tried to make sure her dress was completely straight and that her boots were still tied. She noticed that Mr. James nudged Christian and with that, Christian walked up to her and planted a gentle kiss on her hand. Willow was barely able to contain a gasp, and she quickly put a hand to her face to cover the slight blush she got when she imagined those lips in other places that her hand.  
  
Thus began the happiest days of Willow's life, Her and Christian had many days together, because of the "arranged" courting their parents had set up. Willow knew in the back of her mind, that Christian probably didn't even care if they had these dates, but she had to face the fact that she was head over heels in love with this boy. His gentle smile, his eyes, his hair, his wonderfully innocent and naive look on life, his wonderfully poetic style. This all made her swoon day after day, until she couldn't imagine spending a week without at least seeing Christian once. Which, thanks to their parents, wasn't much of a fear, they usually spent a few days together each week.  
  
Willow hoped with all her heart that Christian loved her as much as she loved him, but sometimes she would tell herself he only liked her as a friend. He would often take her to one of his favorite places in London, and recite his poetry to her, but though it made her exquisitely happy to hear it, she felt that none of it was directed to her, but to someone else, someone even Christian didn't know. But even though she often felt like this, she had wonderful times with him, they would often go to art museums together, and theatre productions, and through the months, She began to feel that Christian was warming up to her.  
  
Often times he would grab her hand as they walked down the street, and he would often kiss her on the cheek at the end of their dates. Every time she saw him, she regretted less and less the thought of being forced to marry someone, after all, she wouldn't want any other man in the world any ways. Christian oozed poetry and romance, and Willow was only too happy to be a part of it, she especially loved his little ideals "truth, beauty, freedom, and love!" He stated them almost every day, but she wouldn't let herself realize that every time he said them, his whole being would droop a little when he said the word "love".  
  
And thus, Willow began to fully believe that Christian and her would lead a wonderful life together. A life that before now, Willow could only imagine in her dreams. Her life could not be happier, and It was all because of the "strange young man" who had entered it.  
  
Early one Saturday morning, as Willow was getting ready for another wonderful day with Christian, full of art, and music, and theatre, she got a knock on her door. When she opened the door, she found no other than the man that filled her mind, every moment of every day, and her heart leapt with love. 


	3. III

He was dressed in one of his suits that made her practically faint from the feelings it gave her. "God he is so beautiful!" she thought. With a small smile that tried to contain her giddiness, she spoke. "Why good morning Christian, what brings you here so early?" The second the words flew from her lips, she knew she regretted saying them. Something in the way he looked today, told her that everything she had been hoping and dreaming for the past month was all ending at this very moment.  
  
"Good morning to you also Willow." Christian replied, with much less affection in his voice than Willow had given him. "I have come to tell you that I am leaving England, today actually, I know it is short notice, but..." At this point, Willow has stopped listening, all she could hear was "leaving" over and over again in her mind. "What??" she blurted out, unable to contain the shock and pain in her voice.  
  
Christian seemed a little startled by the tone of her voice and took a step backwards, toward the door. He slowly began to fumble with his coat sleeves and quietly remarked "It's what I've been telling you I've wanted to do for ages, I need to get away from the conservative place Willow, you know, um, go to a... creative one."  
  
"no no no no no...." Willow screamed in her mind, "He can't be serious! He can't leave me here!" She managed to control herself and spoke in barely a whisper "Where are you going?"  
  
Christian in turn, replied nonchalantly, "oh, to Montmartre, you know, near Paris?" Willow, still in shock, slowly nodded her head as she stared at the floor. "yes, I have heard of it..." she wisped. "how can he be so un emotional about this?" she thought. "We are meant to be married, he cannot just leave me to go to such a, such... such a place of debouchment!"  
  
Suddenly she realized that Christian had begun to talk again. "Any ways, I better be going, my train leaves in about an hour, I would love it if we could still keep in touch in some way, um, maybe we could write each other, I'll send you my address when I get to Montmartre." This was too much for Willow, all the control she had been able to keep in her demeanor was totally forgotten at this moment, "Write to each other?! WRITE TO EACH OTHER?! What are you talking about? We are to be married in less than four months and you are just leaving me here?"  
  
Christian seemed a bit startled at this and remarked "Willow, you must understand, our marriage was arranged by our parents, not by us. The aspect of it disgusts me! I mean seriously, why should two people who don't even love each other get married just because of their parents? Willow, it goes against all my values, remember? Truth, Beauty, freedom, and love? Where is love in an arranged marriage?  
  
"But Christian," Willow slowly looked up from the floor with tears springing into her eyes, "I do love you..." The last part was spoken so softly, she was afraid Christian hadn't even heard it. But when she looked up into his eyes, she knew he had. And it broke her heart. When she gazed into the eyes of the man she had fallen madly in love with, the eyes that she thought mocked even the most beautiful gems in the world, she did not see the love she had for him reflected in his eyes. No, she saw confusion, and no love at all.  
  
Christian was obviously taken back, and spoke with a nervous laugh, "Oh, don't be silly Willow, you cannot possible love me! Um, Don't let your parents fool you like this!" She could tell by his demeanor that he was just trying to convince himself as well. "My parents have nothing to do with this Christian, I love you. I've loved you since the moment I saw you, and weren't you the one who for a whole hour one evening spoke to me about your utmost belief in love at first site? You must believe me!" She almost screamed the last sentence, she had to make him understand!  
  
But in turn, she saw that Christian didn't understand, or maybe, more importantly, didn't want to. "Look, Willow, im sorry for whatever emotions may be misleading you right now, but really, I must be on my way." And with that, he slowly, and quietly began to walk towards the door.  
  
"No wait!" squeaked Willow, and she grabbed for his hand to stop him. Oh, his hand, such a wonderful feeling against hers, the sensation overwhelmed her and she gasped quietly at what just holding on to his hand did to her entire being. But almost as soon as she had grabbed his hand, it was quickly ripped away from her, and a feeling of cold, and despair flooded through her body.  
  
"Please, " she whispered, "Please take me with you," She began to throw out every thins she could think of that would convince him to take her with him. "I'll be good I promise! I won't take up much room! I can be really quiet, you will barely know im there! I..I..." She was quickly cut off by Christians gentle remark. "Willow, Willow, please look at me." She glanced up with im with tears slowly dropping down her cheeks. "why is he making me look at him?" she thought, "doesn't he know what he does to me?" "Willow, " Christian stated again. God how she loved the sound of her name form his lips, why was he torturing her like this?  
  
"I, I'm sorry, but, I cannot let you come with me. I need to do this on my own, and having you around would just be this....this constant reminder of my past. I need to start anew."  
  
Willow just could not understand how he could leave her. She could never even dream of leaving him, even if she tried, how was it so easy for him to do? "But, but don't you love me too?" she whispered. At this, Christian glanced at the floor, and Willow knew she didn't want his answer. "I'm afraid not Willow, I just, I don't think you are who I am meant to be with, I'm sorry, I, I, I just see you as a friend, but I think that in a week or two, you will realize it also."  
  
"how can he say this?!" she thought. "Does he not understand?? "Christian," she gasped, "I'll never be over you, I will love you forever, you are the only person in this world that I would ever want to share my life with, ever, I, I, I cannot live without you!" she screamed. "Oh, don't be silly Willow," Christian stated gently, "of course you can, and I'm sure you will find a much more suitable husband than me." with that he nervously chuckled to himself, and began to head for the door.  
  
"No," Willow strained out, "I never will, never." The sincerity in her voice must have made Christian exceedingly uncomfortable, because he began to quickly walk towards her door. "I am sorry Willow, but I am sure you will be fine, and I wish you the best of luck, I am sure you will find your true love soon,... do not fret,.... I will write you,... I promise!" And with that, he nervously walked out of the door, and shut it as quietly as he possibly could.  
  
To willow, it wouldn't have mattered if hee had slammed the door in her face, it hurt no less. She slowly slid down the wall to sit ungracefully on the floor, "You were it...." she whispered, and with that she broke into sobs.  
  
"This can't be happening!" she though over and over again. "no no no no no. I cannot go one without him, doesn't he understand? Why didn't he love me too?, No, I know why," she thought. "I wasn't perfect enough for him, why should he love me? He was perfection in its finest sense, what am I compared to that? I am unworthy of his love."  
  
  
  
Then she remembered where he as going, to Montmartre, wasn't that just a place of whores and drunks? How could he possibly find his true love there? She hoped to god that he wouldn't wind up wasting all of his money on absinthe and whores. She couldn't imagine him doing so, but then again, ten minutes ago, she couldn't have imagined him leaving her like this.  
  
Willow was always such an innocent and good hearted person, but at that moment, a pang of something shot through her body that she had never felt before. It was like fire pouring through her veins, and then she realized it was jealousy. she though to herself, she knew she wasn't perfect, but didn't Christian deserve better than jaded whores? He deserved someone artistic, and innocent, and naive, and before her modesty got the best of her again, she though "He deserved me..."  
  
This brought on a new entourage of tears, she was hurting more now, than she ever had in her life, and suddenly, the hurt became worse. She became angrier than she had ever been in her life, "Why the hell is he so stupid?" she screamed to the world. "What does he think he can gain from all this? He's spouted nothing but his thoughts on love for the past month to me, he could have had it right here in England. I cannot be that repulsive! Why couldn't I have been his love?"  
  
And then, before a new bout of shaking sobs hit her, the worst thought she had ever conjured up entered her mind, and stuck. She wished to god that he found his damn true love in Montmartre, and she hoped that love was ripped from him, and that he would sit there and watch as she died. 


	4. IV

**disclaimer** same as before, and, ohhh, thanks so much for my reviews so far, I hope these next few (and final) chapters that I will be posting soon will have a bit better of a style, thanks a lot so far!  
  
Willow was drowning. Drowning in a sea of something black and cold. No matter home much she kicked, she couldn't quite reach the shore. She cried out again and again for someone to come save her before she was unable to kick anymore. Finally, he came. Christian came. He ran down the shore in a blue of music and shimmering lights. "Grab my hand." He whispered to her. "I'll save you. I will keep you safe, I promise." Willow reached out and grabbed his hand and let out a long breath of relief. But instead of pulling her out of the sea, Christian took her hand and began to push her farther in. Willow didn't even scream, she has this dream before, many times, and every time Christian drowned her. And every time she awoke suddenly and without a word began to cry.  
  
It had been a year since that fateful day Christian had left her, and every day since then had been the worst day of her life. Since that day, Willow had become sullen, depressive, and sad, and her parents just tried to keep her mildly satisfied when they could. They felt terrible for the poor girl, they knew she had loved Christian, and they knew he had broken her heart. They did not try to get her to marry again, and they just let her act anc dress however she pleased.  
  
Willow had become exceptionally thing in the past year, and to cover up the dark circles under her eyes, she had taken to wearing, what to her parents, seemed like pounds of eye makeup. But no one said anything to the little forlorn wisp of a woman, they just left her alone, and that was how she liked it.  
  
But on this day, as Willow sat at her vanity, wondering how much more her dresses could be taken in before the seamstress got worried and would begin to meddle in her life, a knock came to her door  
  
"Darling," stated her mother, "your father and I are going to tea at the Porter's house today, we will probably be gone awhile."  
  
"Alright," sighed Willow, "have a good time."  
  
Her mother began to leave the room, when she reluctantly turned around and spoke nervously, "Oh, and dear, you might want to start thinking about getting dresses, you are going to have an, um... visitor in about an hour."  
  
"Tell the doctor that I do not want to see him today mother, I do not care is he thinks I am killing myself, he can just go tell that to someone else who actually is!" Willow proudly stated.  
  
"No dear," sighed her mother, "it is not the doctor today, its is, well, its is Mr. Christian James, he has returned from Montmartre and he has requested to visit you.  
  
Willow dropped the dress she had been pulling out of the closet and stifled a gasp with her right hand.  
  
"Why is he coming here mother?" She hissed fiercely.  
  
"I don't know dear," said her mother. "You're father was the one who spoke with him, he said he seemed so sad."  
  
"Oh, oh yes, I'm SURE he was," Willow snapped sarcastically.  
  
"Look dear, you can send him away if you want," said her mother, "I for one would not blame you."  
  
"Thank you mother, I will definitely keep that in mind!" And with that Willow tossed back her head in a sign of strength.  
  
She wasn't going to let Christian see how much he had hurt her. She was going to show him that she was perfectly fine without him. Even though on the inside, her heart was desperately trying to break through the thick shields she had so meticulously placed around it over the past year.  
  
"Now what dress to wear" she though to herself as she quickly ripped open the closet. "Not that it matters..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
****there, was that a bit better this time everyone? i tried to make sure i went over everything i had written in my head this time, and tried to seperate speaking a tad better, i should have the next chapter up soon, i think there will be one or two more and thats it! hope yall are likin it! 


	5. V

In less than an hour, Willow had managed to get herself "completely presentable!" as her mother would put it. She had gotten her maid to help her lace up her corset, who in turn made "tsk tsk" noises at the fact that, even laced up as tight as it could be, seemed loose on Willow. Willow then donned her favorite dress, a dress that fit her mood. It was a deep charcoal grey, and somehow managed to fit tightly around her skinny form. In full view, the dress managed to make Willow look even paler and thinner that she was already.  
  
"Perfect!" she thought to herself as she looked in the mirror. "Don't let him feel how much he has hurt me, but let him see what I have become!" With this state of mind, she spent a large sum of time on making her eye makeup just dramatic enough for her taste, which, to a conservative, would seem outlandish. But she dropped the stick of eyeliner the second she heard the door bell's chime sound through the house.  
  
As she walked to the door, she had to stop herself from hyperventilating. After she managed to compose herself, she slowly opened the door and almost fainted right then and there.  
  
"Good morning Willow, um, I mean, Ms. Cohen." Christian said as gently as he had always spoken to her, but with a hint of sadness in his voice that had not been there before.  
  
She had made herself forget how much she loved him, but having him stand in her doorway brought all of her feelings back in a flood that ripped through her mind. He enveloped her senses like nothing she had ever experienced before. The sound of his voice to her ears was like the sweetest symphony ever played. Is smell that wafted in through the door way, like soap and warm brace, caught in her mind and she felt as though she were drifting through the wind. And the site of him. One small glance at him was enough to make Willow weak in the knees and she had to grab onto the door handle for support. And then the painful memories her mind had repressed for a split second came rushing back to her and ran over all of her pleasant feelings. Christian had hurt her terribly. And she would not let herself forget it again, no matter what his simple presence did to her senses.  
  
With a slight haughtiness in her voice, she replies, "Why good morning Mr. James. You certainly are.... looking well," and with that she turned from him and walked into the house, noting to herself that he quickly followed her inside.  
  
"Thank you Willow," he replied sheepishly, "though I do not feel it...you look so, so...different."  
  
This aggravated Willow. She wanted to scream at him, "Of course I look different you idiot! Look what you have done to me!" But instead, she calmed herself and stated, "Well, I thought it was time for a change..." and with that said, she carefully sat down upon the cream colored sofa in the main room.  
  
Christian quickly scurried over to the sofa and sat down directly next to her and grasped her hand in his. "Willow," he said, "I came back to see you, because, because I feel like you are my only friend in the world right now, and I just need someone to talk to again."  
  
After the initial shock had subsided, Willow managed to rip her hand from Christian's pleading grasp. "How dare he touch me?!" she though, and then turned to him and said, "That's surprising, since the entire time you were in Montmartre you never wrote me on word!" Willow reveled in the fact that she could visibly see Christian flinch from her words, and to further her pint she turned away from him on the sofa.  
  
"Willow," Christian pleaded with pain in his voice, "I am so very sorry I never wrote, its just that, I, I, I became....preoccupied and its just slipped my ind, I truly am sorry."  
  
Willow reeled back around at this, and in a voice thick with sarcasm said, "Oh of course Christian...my LOVE," and she spat out the words "my love," "it makes perfect sense that you could forget someone like me! For heaven's sake! You don't even love me! Why bother remembering me? Why bother coming into my house after you've been on some year long escapade at all? Willow had to stop herself from saying more, and she noticed that Christian's sullen expression, had grown even sadder.  
  
"Willow," he said in barely a whisper, "I could try to explain to you what has happened to me in the last year, but I couldn't do it justice. That's why, I would like you to read this." At that, he pulled out a book, bound in a deep red leather from under his coat. Willow read the words from the cover, "The Moulin Rouge" and she peered at Christian through skeptical eyes as he handed it to her.  
  
"I wrote it Willow, I always told you I was going to write a book, and I finally did. Its all rue, it al really happened. I think this can help you understand a little better. Will you please read it?"  
  
The pleading in his voice made Willow consent, and she silently cursed herself as she led him out the door after she had told him that she promised to "read it all tonight" and that he could come back tomorrow and speak to her more after the had read it.  
  
As she shut the door, she looked back at the book that she had left on the table. Something about it pained her even to look at is, and with a shuddering breath, she grasped it between her hands, and headed for her room, to spend the rest of the day finding out what Christian really HAD done in Montmartre. 


	6. VI

As the clock struck eleven PM, Willow read the words, "the end" and quietly shut the book. The book would not have taken her so long, if not for her parents prying her out of it to eat dinner with them. But now she had finally finished it, and she sat on her bed in silence. "I did it," she though, "I killed her, it was all my wish..." But not a tear stained Willow's face. She knew it was a sad story, and she had to admit it was a wonderfully written book, but she could not force out the tears that remained hidden behind a could of emotions. She felt a strong feeling of remorse, after all, she knew Satine's death was her fault, or at least she believed that it was. And if possible, from the story she had fallen even deeper in love with Christian. She worshiped every word that fell onto the page, because she knew that it had once passed through his mind. And she loved him for the love that he had bestowed upon Satine. The love that she wished had been bestowed upon her. And this brought her to her most overwhelming emotion of all. Jealousy. She was more jealous of Satine that she had been of anyone in her life. She loathed her with such a passion that it frightened her.  
  
"She didn't deserve him," Willow thought, "No, he deserved much better, he wasted his love on her." And now, Willow knew Christian would never love her, nor anyone else for that matter, and the jealousy and hatred boiled through her veins. And still, Willow was dry eyes, not even able to shed one tear for the love that she had just witnesses, and would never attain.  
  
After a night of restless sleep, and terrible, painful dreams, Willow arose from her bed, with the weight of a thousand heartbreaks placed firmly on her chest, and began to prepare herself for Christian's arrival. She told him to come around eleven thirty, when her parents were off to tea at their friend's house. She did not want her parents to know how weak she was in letting Christian come back.  
  
As punctual as ever, a ring reverberated through the house at exactly half past eleven and Willow slowly marched to the door.  
  
"Good morning again Mr. James, you are quite punctual, please do come in for tea." Willow said without a hint of emotion.  
  
After some uncomfortable small talk, and about five minutes of Christian fidgeting in his chair, he finally got the nerve to ask.  
  
"So, um, I hope that my book explained some things to you Willow, um, Did you, um enjoy it?"  
  
Willow looked into his eyes, they were so sad, he was not the happy young man he used to be, the past year had taken a great toll on him, and it hurt her to see him like this. She was about to tell him that she loved it, and that she was sorry for his loss, just to make him feel better, but then a streak of resentment ran through her mind, and she realized it.  
  
If she could never have Christian, she was going to hurt him. And hurt him bad.  
  
She took time in choosing a word, and finally, looking straight into his eyes, remarked, "It was amazing."  
  
Christian blushed at this, and quickly looked down at his hands with modesty. "Oh, well, thank you, I didn't know it was THAT good, I just..."  
  
But Willow quickly cut him off, "That wasn't a compliment."  
  
"Oh..." he said with an air of disappointment.  
  
"I meant," she stated cruelly, "that its amazing that Satine managed to get you to believe that she actually loved you! I mean, come on Christian, I knew you were gullible, but this! This..."  
  
It was Christian's turn to cut off and he said in a shocked gasp, "Oh no, no, no, no! Satine loved me Willow! She did!"  
  
"Oh please," snapped Willow, and then with a hint of sarcasm, she struck a pose and cried out, "Oh look at me! I'm the poor dying whore! *cough! cough!* I'm going to make one last gullible fool believe that I, a whore, actually love him! What a laugh this will be!"  
  
"No," Christian pleaded, "Please, please stop." The pain in his voice normally would have startled Willow, but she was too far gone to care.  
  
"You shut up!" Willow hissed, "I am not done yet! I cannot believe you thought she loved you!" Then after a pause, she continued with, "only someone as weak as I could love you."  
  
But Christian's barely audible "no, please" only egged her one and she decided to continue. If she was going to be cruel, she better do a good job of it.  
  
"You could have been great Christian," she muttered. "You could have been the world's greatest poet. You could have made some girl so happy. You could have spent your amazing love on someone who would appreciate it, but no. You chose a whore who didn't even believe in love. And now, a dead whore. And all your beautiful love has gone to waste. And you'll never love again will you?"  
  
She peered at Christian, awaiting an answer, but all she got where his eyes, wide with shock and pain, and his mouth slightly agape as in a silent scream.  
  
"No, of course you won't." She said, "you're in love with a ghost, a ghost who didn't even love you, and you'll be in love with her forever."  
  
She looked at Christian again, waiting for him to do anything, slap her, scream, run out the door, but he just stood there, a map of pain etched across his face.  
  
"You've wasted you love Christian," she hissed, "and I've wasted a year and a half of mine on you. I do not want to waste anymore..." and with a surge of energy she screamed "Take your goddamn book, about your goddamn whore, and get the hell out of my house! I never want to see you again!" She threw the book into his hands and shoved him out the door, slamming it directly in his face.  
  
But this was not enough, she had to say one more thing to appease the rage storming through her heart. "It hurts doesn't it Christian?!" she screamed, "Maybe now you can understand how I've felt for the past year! I hate you! I HATE YOU!!"  
  
Willow reeled around, surging with the sick pride and happiness one gets from hurting someone so badly. It swam through her body like a flood of boiling water, and a demonic grin spread across her lips.  
  
But then she heard it. Christian's sobs. He ad collapsed on the other side of the door and the sound of his crying ripped through Willow. It washed away the sick pride ant tore through the shields around her heart as if they were made of nothing but paper. It was the saddest sound she had ever heard and she grabbed onto a chair for support.  
  
"What have I done?" she gasped, "I've killed him, I've killed what was left of him..." She couldn't pull herself away from the chair, and every crushing sob sounded like another shard of his already broken heart had been slammed into even smaller pieces.  
  
gasped for breath, trying to shut out the heart wrenching noises that were sliding from under her door. But through all the pain, and the sounds, and the feelings rushing through Willow's body, she realized something. How utterly inviting the gun that her father kept in his upstairs study was to her right now. It called to her, promising to end her heartbreak and pain forever.  
  
And with a shuddering breath, and one tear gently rolling down her cheek, Willow Cohen stumbled up the stairs to her father's study, third door on the right.  
  
And the sobbing continued.  
  
  
  
The End.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ooooooh, did everyone like ok? I hope so, if just hated the ending because it was sooo dark, then you can pretend it didn't happen, but before you pretend, could you review it first pleasies? I luuuuuv reviews! Hahaha 


End file.
